falls broken

2006-03-06T19:41:00.000-08:00

Okay.I'm not doing the whole my-life-part-whatever because some people think its stupid.So anyway, SHE has not changed one bit.She is still the same old stupid horse.Neigh to you too Adelyn.Question : Why do guys like to wear baggy stuff and carry messenger bags?? Don't they actually understand how UNappealing they look?? They probably think the total opposite but STILL.They think they are hot by wearing baggy jeans, a baggy graphic shirt and a messenger bag. Worse, these three have colours which do not complement each other! Why? Oh wait. I forgot. THIS IS SINGAPORE. What did I expect anyway?

Happy 20th birthday Patrick!!Loving you more and more each day.

2006-02-28T11:11:00.000-08:00

MY LIFE.PART 10.

Finally! I worked after one week. Work was a little crap yesterday. There weren't many customers so it was real boring. Isabel and I munched on sandwiches and peanuts for lunch and dinner and talked a lot. Anyway, reading a book now. FINALLY. A book to read. I was wondering where all my favorite authors had gone to. Call me a geek, whatever. I'm not one to care much of what others think of me anymore. OH GROSS! What is that smell that just wafted in?? Is that the smell of vomit? GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE. Back. Whew. The smell is gone. Anyway, I've been having these really bad stomach aches. I have no idea what exactly is causing them but oh well. Wish you were here.

2006-02-25T13:27:00.000-08:00

MY LIFE.PART NINE.

Has it been nine already? Time passes by so fast. Next thing you know, we'll be celebrating my 80th birthday. Anyway, went for the interview today and YYYIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!! I GOT IN!!!!!! Oh who am I kidding. I knew I would get in the minute i stepped into the auditorium. So, YAY! Although its just only foundation but its a step towards my future career! I want to thank the people who wished me luck. People like : my parents, my sisters, Patrick, my friends and my relatives. Wow I got in. It still hasn't exactly sunk in yet.

Anyway, my life going great now. ZZZ. I need to sleep. Feeling real real tired. Long day maybe? Gotta go. Remember : always have peace with your inner-self (sound like some yoga instructor)

2006-02-23T16:33:00.000-08:00

MY LIFE.PART EIGHT.

Back to where I am again. Cut to me : sitting on a chair trying to entertain myself by typing about myself. Finally managed to finish up my portfolio. Many thanks to my dad and especially my sister.

I may not be the best for you but I'll make you happy no matter what calls.

Things to do :
- buy comic books
- work
- buy new shoes (4-inch heels)
- watch more anime
- find out my work schedule for next week
- get out of this place

2006-02-21T13:58:00.000-08:00

MY LIFE.PART SEVEN.

Amanda means "Worthy of being loved." Literary; poets and playwrights brought this name into popular usage in the seventeenth century. Isn't it interesting? Today is going great so far. Drawing, listening to music, day dreaming, smiling. Yawn. Question : Do we actually thank people for the things they do for us? I'm happy for the many things in my life. Thank you Mom for bringing me into this world. Thank you Dad for being supportive of me in everything I do. Thank you, my two beloved sisters for adding the laughter and joy in my life. Thank you Patrick for making me happy and smiling always.

Okay so you may be thinking "What the heck is wrong with her today?" Well, can't answer that because I'm not so sure myself.

2006-02-20T11:52:00.000-08:00

MY LIFE.PART SIX.

Did I do the right thing? I don't even know how I'm actually feeling. Maybe that's what life is about. There are doors which are not meant to be opened. Nobody knows my real past. I never really expected much out of life. I just wanted to fall in love, get married, settle down and have kids. I never knew that I would want to have a career in fashion designing. Hah. What am I even talking about?

2006-02-18T14:24:00.000-08:00

MY LIFE.PART FIVE.

Let's face it. I am a weird person. I'm unpredictable and a little psychotic (A LITTLE!!). For example, on Valentine's day, I saw people walking around with bunches of red roses. But what do I want? A bunch of white roses, red roses and pink roses. Hah! It's not like anyone's gonna give it to me. Anyway, two more pieces before I finally finish my portfolio. Can't wait till next saturday (note of sarcasm). And for the record, I'm still sick. Though it has gone down a notch but, still. ARGHHH. I'm so bored I'm gonna scratch my eyes out. Dad wants me to watch x-files with him again. I think I'm gonna stay at home a lot next week ( hint, hint Patrick). lol. See?? I'm being psychotic again. Hmm a little groggy. Think I'm gonna go nap.

p/s- GET ME OUT OF THIS COUNTRY!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-02-16T15:00:00.000-08:00

Because I have you, because I have tomorrow
because I can't live on all alone
I feel you so close by me, I guess that's love
Because you know how much pain tears can bring
I want to find a smile in your transparent eyes
as I search for a definite meaning in them
Although it'd be good if these feelings found their way into your heart without me needing to speak a word
Because now I can embrace every word that you said
I'm sure that we'll come closer to each other
I guess that's love
Even if a tomorrow that nobody knows is waiting for us
it's all right, don't cry anymore
we'll join hands
and keep walking on forever

2006-02-04T16:19:00.000-08:00

MY LIFE.PART FOUR.

Nothing much is happening in my life, work wise, as usual. Everything's still the same. Work.UGH. I need more money to buy all the comics I want. Watching a movie sounds great but there aren't many good films nowadays. Hmm I've been so sleepy and tired recently. I need to get a good night's rest. Unfortunately, time will not give me that opportunity. My shop is now looking for more staff. How interesting!! I like meeting new staff. And intimidating them. (inset evil laughter) Nah, I'm just kidding. Don't listen to other people, I'm really not THAT mean. But I think its just fun, teaching a newbie the ropes. Ah yes. This reminds me. Next weekend will be a very busy one. Friday : work for half a day and then rush to meet the cousins for Maybelline and Justin's farewell dinner. Place to meet? Check with cousins. Saturday : Arts school open house(Bring portfolio).Maternal relatives will be coming over. Sunday : Going over to Auntie Mary's house for end of Chinese New Year celebrations. So many things to do! So little time.

2006-02-01T10:43:00.000-08:00

MY LIFE.PART THREE.

Nothing much has really happened.Chinese New Year.It was really boring because we didn't do much visiting so it kind of sucked.Oh wait.Isn't today Wednesday?YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!My pay is finally in my account.Ahhh.I can smell the money from over here.Hmm.Oh yes, on the first day of chinese new year, Stace,Maybelline,Justin,Cordelia,my sis and I went bowling. It was much better than staying at our Grandpa's house watching chinese new year shows all day long. At the outset, I really sucked at bowling. And my VERY 'encouraging' teammates (Justin and Stace) laughed whenever I got gutterball. Thanks a lot, guys. But our second game was much better, thanks to my sis. I got angry with her and somehow my rage allowed me to play better. A strike = a score for me in the book of world records.At the end, I realised that everyone was cheering for me.To get another gutterball. Who in the world gets to have these kinds of cousins???Me.Anyway, since Maybelline and Justin are going to Australia in the middle of Feb, we will be having a farewell dinner for them. Anyway, we played black jack too.I really suck at it. I'm not a gambling sort of person.I lost about a dollar I think. Gotta run.

2006-01-21T14:47:00.000-08:00

MY LIFE.PART TWO.

So here.my life.Let me think if anything really interesting happened this past week.Oh i know! I finally receieved my earphones, the ones i bought online and my anime that I also bought online. The anime's fine, except that its in DVD form.I can't watch it except on my sister's laptop.That sucks.Man I feel like sleeping.The weather's great and all.Work sucks as usual. But I guess the money probably makes up for it.Back later.

2006-01-17T22:40:00.000-08:00

MY LIFE.PART ONE

Okay so I really honestly thought no one, NO ONE, reads my blog at all. Wow, this is freaky, its like I'm talking to myself. So anyway, Isabel and I had a real heart-to-heart talk yesterday, considering that there were very few customers. Yesterday, I deposited my merit bursary cheque. And today when I went out with my dad, I checked my account and woo-hoo!!!!!!!!!money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$$$$. Okay sue me, I'm pretty money-minded. Anyway, I JUST bought a whole lot of stuff online. Yay! The wonders of technology. And great news, I can buy comics in my shop at 20% discounts!!!!!!!!! So I don't have to buy comics at kino and borders prices.Japanese class starting soon!!

Okay about the whole no-one-reads-my-blog thing, I wonder if there people who actually bookmark me and read my blog everyday?LOL just pondering. It'll be interesting. Hey YOU. Email me.lol it'll be great.

2006-01-13T12:06:00.000-08:00

ookayy.weirdness.yesterday, I went for work after 2 weeks.so I met keith for the first time.he didn't exactly talk to me but I found out from beng ann.anyways, there was also this guy called khairul.I was like thank goodness you're here otherwise I will have to speak chinese my whole working life here.lol and someone to bitch with.anyways, they have this sales assistant position up and there were many people coming in and trying to get the job.some really STUPID and RUDE ones.no kidding.hmm if I recall, I was trying to put back a marvel comic then they were speaking in chinese and saying then where we write the thing??and whiny and giggly and EEEECCCHHH!okay yeah you get the picture.then there was this nerdish girl and guy who also signed up for the job.ew.no offense.anyway, yesterday adelyn started talking to me like a NORMAL PERSON.how is that even possible????SHE IS NOT NORMAL!!!it was really freaking the hell out of me.I shudder when I think of it.hmm but since her attitude is changing, then I think I will just stick to this job.it sucks but yea,what the heck.yesterday was shipment day too, the day which I always try to avoid. and when I was wrapping the manga books i saw the manga which I always wanted!!lucky for me, I was standing at the back so I took a few peeks at the book.hehe.okay so I'm sneaky, sue me. Oh!Today is Friday the 13th!!Happy Anniversary Jason!!!

2006-01-11T11:18:00.000-08:00

why?can someone answer my question : why are guys, in general, so chauvanistic??i mean, not all females are feminists, so why?hmm, this is something which probably concerns men and their ridiculous egos.

I am so addicted to this show.I won't say the name of it but the theme song is stuck inside my head and won't get out.WHY? question number 2 : why don't we have TiVo here? much less cable in my house though. I mean american channels are showing the other seasons and we are just stuck here at season one.SHEESH.

I hate this place.absolutely hate it. question number 3 : Why am I even here? If only i had the answer to that question.If I don't out of here by the time I reach 20, I will EXPLODE.

I really want to get out of my current job. I don't mind working in a mortuary or a funeral home (six feet under), as long as I get out of this job. I really hope I manage to get this job that is being offered to me by Isabel. Cross my fingers and pray to God kind of hope. that brings us to our question number 4 : Why is that bitch the queen of them all? This is one question that can NEVER be answered.

question number 5 : will I ever meet someone nice to sweep me off my feet? you must be thinking ' HAHA NO WAY!' well, whatever. its hard to find someone really like me around here.ARGH! that just brings us back to question number 3.

I don't know why, I used to talk SO much on here, now I've totally stopped. Honestly. Ahh okay I think I know what to do. I'll make 2 lists of the things I want.One from an idealist's point of view and the other from a realist's point of view.

Things I want (idealist's point of view)
-a private jet
-a psp and all the games
-a ds and all the games
-a ps 2,3 and all the games
-all the anime in the world

okay so this list is kind of neverending

Things I want (realist's point of view)
-MONEY
-to go for some sort of japanese language course
-to get my dad to stop nagging at me
-to go shopping
-a new book or books to read
-a new manga to drool at

question number 6 : have you ever felt alone in this world? I have, plenty of times. watching drama or comedy series don't exactly help me. sometimes i feel like I'm the only person here. It's cold and dark. I felt like no one really understood me. Sometimes I wear on a mask, to disguise myself amongst the normal everyday people. It's kind of like what Bill said in Kill Bill Volume two. He said that spiderman's identity was peter parker.His other life, his mask, was spiderman. Or take batman for example, his identity was bruce wayne and his other life, his mask, was batman.Makes me wonder, which one am I? Is my mask amanda and my identity something else? or vice versa.

Colored crimson by the setting sun, my memories ebb and draw back
Here is where I'll engrave this passing moment of eternity called today
Looking down from the hills are blue seas and spring shrouded by a mist
Under the row of cherry blossoms you laugh amongst the petals
Don't have this, don't have that
Greed that seeks to grant every wish
As if to softly encompass those very things we lack
The wind trembles ever so slightly as the evening calm draws to a close
Spring flutters in a dance along the coastal road

2006-01-07T14:41:00.000-08:00

you bring out the secret smile inside of me,
the one that no one sees besides you.
you bring out the snort, the laughter out of me,
something that I never did before.
you opened my eyes to different things,
different sights and smells of the world.
thank you.

hmm my life is pretty boring in this small puny island.when will I ever get out of this place? the show 'sweet home alabama' makes me wonder continuously, will I be like here? wanting people to be like me? wanting to get out and make it big?

what is the true meaning of friendship? has anyone actually really pondered upon that question? I'm not sure why suddenly this just came to my head. when i was much younger, i always relied on myself rather than on other people. This probably explains why I'm much of an anti-social, thus becoming an outcast. I never wanted to be popular or smart. I just wanted to live my life and get out of here. Am i doing the right thing?

2006-01-02T20:36:00.000-08:00

its a new year and time for new resolutions.2005 was a freaking bad year.can't even begin to tell you how.yesterday had a fun barbeque with my maternal relatives.also, ever since i obtained my gba, i've been playing MFoMT nonstop.nonstop im telling you.i really hope that 2006 will be a very good year for me and my family.wow.it is so weird.i will be going on with my life, as in go to a new school, this year.i will make new friends, have new stuff.everything's going to change around here.i will come with a bang.

resolutions :
-finish my portfolio
-endure adelyn for isabel's sake
-smile more
-talk more
-buy more comics
-buy much more comics
-GET OUT OF THIS COUNTRY

2005-12-15T10:18:00.000-08:00

okay im not working today but yesterday, isabel told me something which i could not believe my ears.turns out that neither does she like adeline.i mean i can like totally understand.adeline is a total bitch man.its just her who makes me feel like quitting my job.

tomorrow godma jen is coming down to singapore and we have to get something for her!!i cant think of what she should get me cos she asked me to choose my own present.what?i cant think man.
heres a list :
-a gameboy adv
-a trip to japan
-a trip to illinois or north carolina
-new nikes
-jlo's new parfum
-an ipod nano
-a new panasonic/motorola handphone

and etc

2005-12-13T10:35:00.000-08:00

feeling better thanks to advice from R and J.yesterday, while watching Project Runway with my sister, i suddenly felt this huge lump of phlegm come up from my throat and into my mouth.when i spit it out, i saw the phlegm and lots of blood.it was so gross, i cant even begin to describe it.more later.

2005-12-11T18:56:00.000-08:00

oh my gosh i am now like the most saddest person on earth.i just read the history of the shinsengumi characters and how they died.;_;.great.now i feel like sobbing my freaking eyes out.still sick by the way

2005-12-10T13:22:00.000-08:00

i feel so ..i dunno.mixed feelings
HAPPY-cos i had (some sort of) dinner with chew li and jeny yesterday during my dinner break.and also cos of the stamp and file.thanks you guys!!!!
SAD-i have no anime to watch.
SICK-i just had fever and i feel like vomiting
ANGRY-because im still stuck in this country
SLEEPY-i dunno.i think its the medicine.hehe.

2005-12-09T10:02:00.000-08:00

ahhh im in love with 2D characters.susumu.hijikata.am i insane?????gotta get ready for work soon.sighhhs.hope today turns out right.i cant seem to do anything right.my headaches are gone.but that means i'll have to take a panadol everyday before work.

2005-12-07T23:46:00.000-08:00

i cant believe im saying this, but i actually enjoyed work today!weird huh?yea.so it was like this, i went in and there was Isabel.then we like talked for ages.and we had a lot in common.i didnt realise that.it was so cool.and then beng an came in.i was like huh, cos i dont really talk to him.but later i did, and he was really nice.and then adeline came in.i was like uh-oh,prepare for emergency landing.we didnt really talk for a few hours but after some really funny accident(she dropped the marvel legend action figurines) we started talking.heck,she's one funny ass.lol.hmmm.cant wait for work tomorrow, which will be new-stock day!yay!one guy called james is coming in.hope he's as nice as the rest!

2005-12-06T19:32:00.000-08:00

i have to go to work tomorrow.great.by the way, i finally watched harry potter.you wanna know what i think of it?i think i would give it 2 stars for the plot and 5 stars for visual effects.the plot reallyreally sucked.i expected better.nothing else interesting in my life.its pretty boring.

i realised some things during my holidays.i've realised that everything is about looking forward and not turning back.why should we care about the past?when only the future is important?some things in this life are a mystery.there are some things that we should not try to know.

opening up my mind to new things and new discoveries, i recently told my family that we have to get out of this country.their reaction?blank stares.why do we have to stay in this ridiculously small-government-empowered country?people do not have rights anymore.there isnt even entertainment in this place.whats worse, the people cant dress up.its embarrassing sometimes to be even known as a singaporean.and whats with the slang?just quit it.i dont understand why people have to slang(and a bad job at it) to impress westerners?is that how degraded singaporeans have become?that we have to BE like the westerners?why cant we just be ourselves?wont that make us unique, different?but, oh obviously some people are so dumb that they dont even bother to try to take off the mask that they are hiding behind.whats singapore becoming to?some low-class lousy country, thats what.

2005-12-05T10:52:00.000-08:00

having really bad headaches ever since i left work.yesterday i went to church.rc and deanna and i were supposed to find adverts in magazines.so we chose cosmo.okay like a totally wrong idea.everything in there is about sex.i was like whoops sorry.cos i was the one who chose the magazine.so we three had lots of laughs looking through the magazines.lol.THE BRAD.haha.

anyways, after that we went to aunt jean's house.stace and nini werent around so we watched hide and seek starring dakota fanning and robert de niro.halfway through the show, the two prodigal daughters returned home.after the show, stace and i went to play her ps2.we started playing midnight club, some sorta racing stuff.and it was then i realised : im probably never going to get my driving license.lol.we played like about 8 races then we played tony hawk's underground.okay i suck at skateboarding too.tsk tsk.ooh my favourite was playing samurai warriors and that weird japanese fighting game.haha.that fighting game was the best.in the past, stace and i used to take more than an hour to finish that game.this time we finished it in less than half an hour.wow.it was fun.we talked about hollywood gossip and comic books.oh yea stace you can come over and borrow my AB comics anytime.

sigh.im not really sure if im looking forward to going to work again.talking to robert now.ciao!

2005-12-03T23:12:00.000-08:00

wow whee!i got the job at AC.and today was my first day.it was damn tiring i tell you.i felt like killing myself.the people here are okay.cant wait to start work again!brb i need to take a panadol.

ahh back.btw, i just saw something that i am seriously shocked by.okay not really shocked.more like bloody disgusted.ew!you are such a poser.what makes you think you are like one of them??????get a grip.now.

its boring at work.the people there dont really talk to me.oh!how i wish people like nick,nicholas,cl,jeny would come in.how fun they would be!!sigh..

would love to talk to you,robert!!xoxoxo

2005-12-02T06:29:00.000-08:00

You are Hijikata Toshizo!

Which Peacemaker Kurogane character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

this guy is absolute hotness.

2005-11-28T20:12:00.000-08:00

ooh!yuka just sent us a postcard!that just reminded me that i have to send a postcard to kumiko, which i always forget.im trying to get a job now.its really not easy and at times i really feel like pulling my hair out.anyways, im so glad i have finally graduated from secondary school.no more irritating normal tech or acad. students.finally!and now im just moving on.onwards towards a bright future!although the thing i hate about myself is that i can never seem to grow up!okay only for my face.i look like 14.no kidding.robert's been incredibly nice to me.thanks!!!!allow me some consolation huh?

the world is wide.how can we go to every single place in our lifetime?so im kinda vowing(kinda) that after college i am going to travel the world.by myself.or not.

i cant wait for school!i am going to knock the socks off the world.watch out people, here i come!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-11-27T23:05:00.000-08:00

okay so its me again.yesterday night, uncle d brought us to chijmes to dinner in.it was great.the food was great.we were having our dinner al fresco.the night air was cooling.and then, i set eyes on this guy.lets just say he was the total highlight of the night.he was an american, which beats singaporean guys.honestly, on a rate from one to ten, i'd give him 11.

2005-11-25T14:55:00.000-08:00

Dear you(you know who you are),
things have gone by so fast,i never really understood you well.although we had failed tries to remain as friends,i think i now know why.she was better, she probably had better jokes or a better laugh than mine.i can't believe what we had is now gone.it seems so surreal, so fast.oh if only i had the chance, to talk to you again, to hear your voice.i want to tell you how sorry i am.if only i could turn back time, where we were both happy, glee in our own world.but i know thats impossible because right now, you lead your own life and me mine.like branches of a tree spreading out in different parts, reaching for the sun.it can never happen again, but im glad there was an 'us'.

from,
amanda

2005-11-21T11:42:00.000-08:00

okay yup, these are the kids who i teach.its amazing though, never realized someone like me could teach.it was kinda scary, well for my friends.anyway, o'levels are finally over.i feel like i can finally take a deep breath and exhale noisily.things hasnt changed with me.im still as boisterous and crazy.insane, rather.it still feels weird that im finally leaving school.the feeling is just indescribable.okay i sound definitely insane.ive been throwing fits over small matters;making everyone upset with me and pouring all my burdens on everybody, especially joel.hehe.sorry joel!!he must be thinking im some kinda nut.i love a guy's opinion.it gives me a different view on the way i handle matters.i havent really thought about life and where i will end up.life just suddenly seems so fast.the person you know very well, may just pass away the next day.life is unpredictable.you cant be sure what will happen to you when you grow older.i used to be so sure of myself, always confident about what i was going to be.now everything seems so surreal.cl, jeny and i may say that we will be close friends, and we give our nervous laughter, for we were trying to assure ourselves when the future came.

Amanda's senior will

to jeny, weiss cruz and morbid kindaichi screen shots

to chew li, trips to your house and spilt milk.

to jayne, 4 years of laughter and joy and insanity

to erica, drugs and a year's woth of complaint slips

to rennita, hello kitty plushies and chinese b worksheets

to janna, straightforwardness and craziness

to qian ying, no more 'short' jokes

to dianny, funny insults

to puvan and gang, a clue and a life

to everyone, all right!!this is it!!we are moving on.let's never forget to look back at the times and memories we had together...

2005-11-21T11:14:00.000-08:00

2005-11-21T11:10:00.000-08:00

2005-11-21T11:06:00.000-08:00

2005-11-21T11:03:00.000-08:00

2005-09-17T10:28:00.000-07:00

i just saw the harry potter trailer.oh gosh i have to watch it.i definitely have to.man, im saving my free ticket for the show.

i was typing an entry yesterday when my sister's comp suddenly cramped.ugh i hate it when that happens.it was something about idol and stuff.

well okay.yesterday, somebody was acting like a shameless loser and another one, a bitch.the bitch, to put in words, undoubtly, is me.and the shameless loser is the very dear CH.i dont understand how people like jeny can feel sad for this pathetic person.seriously, it is a mystery that even the two most intelligent people, cl and me, cannot find the answers to. she backstabs her own friend, tries to steal a friend's boyfriend, would rather choose fake friends over real friends, etc.yesterday, during the physics practical, she kept on calling "jeny, jeny, where is..""jeny,jeny, what is..""jeny,jeny, why is..." if only i was good at javelin, i would've thrown my scissors straight for her neck. and she tried to invite herself to janna's, her enemy's,(imagine this) table.now what did i say about being shamless???

i need to study.or rather, i'll try.

2005-09-02T20:14:00.000-07:00

wow okay jayne told me today in the bus that the journey from tokyo to tokorozawa is 1 hr by train(shinkansen).which means.......yea!!!!alright chew li!jeny!next year we go visit TA and company!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!woo-hooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!oh man i am so happy i could fly!!!wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay.too psychotic.currently studying japanese.yea my dad borrowed this cd-rom from the library.apparently, i dont have to use the cd.as in, if i just install it, its already in my comp.yup!no need to use the cd.in other words, no need to worry about the due date!!

okay yea so michelle chia is being like EMBARRASSINGLY OBSEQUIOUS.oh wait, is this too difficult for her to understand?after all, you must certainly understand, she has an IQ of an ostrich.please, i beg of you, dont insult her.or make her feel bad.after all, even people with such LOW IQ have feelings too.

yay so sis went to comic connections and bought for me this tezuka card!!!whooo!whew.hes looking fabulously hot, as usual.

holidays!yea!although, i wouldnt really consider it as holidays.i still have to go to school every single day.except friday.i'll be in school from like morning to evening.yea.friday is my EX-SISTER'S birthday.lol.cy will start crying man.

i have so many plans, the future, just a thin thread separating sanity and insanity.
my life, just an echo away
im not sure where i'll be
but i know down the road
i will be holding that candle
that tiny flicker of hope in my heart
that you will return, in my arms, in my life
but until then
i shut my eyes
feel hot tears welling up in my eyes,
clumping my eyelashes together
and i'll wait.

such sudden inspiration from goodness-knows-where.

ah!such passion, such wonderful love for poetry oozing out from my mouth!

2005-08-30T20:14:00.000-07:00

i love the x-men.fine im like a total geek.but whats so unusual about that?anyways, even if the plot of a certain story sucks, you always have guys like gambit to make up for it.man, these guys save the day,literally.another one of my current favourite shows is the o.c. cant say im not addicted to that one.

anyway, i kinda injured my leg yesterday. cl and i were just talking about tiger, her cat.and whoopsies, i fell down.missed one step and sprained my ankle.it swelled to like twice its original size.ow.yea.now its better.stayed at home today.slept three times.cl's dad's gonna come over later to see to my leg.

one other happy happy super happy thing that just happened to me, he emailed me!!!!right, TA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHH!!! i could just die.oh gosh.smiles all over.i think im going insane.

okay, i need to study.(yea right)

bye!:)

2005-08-22T23:57:00.000-07:00

i can get so easily pissed off at some posers in my class.losers, cowards, man you just name it.so sick of it all.currently hating everything(that is bad). stupid michelle chia.gosh she was like giving us this envious look.i mean hello???too bad for you.firstly, you have zero style.but you think you have a whole lotta style.this gives you negative infinity points dude.totally wrong.and then you laugh like GROSS-ified mudballs on a chimpanzee's balls.lol.dont even ask me how i could think of that.oh gross.the visual is killing me.lol.secondly, people in IGG talk about hollywood, you think we're talking about channel U. its just SO wrong.cant anyone even see that? and what up with the laughing chipmunks in our class?

okay whatever.this whole hormonal thing is ruining me.

bio practical test tmr.gotta sleep early.ugh.talk about right.oh yes, sex and the city can teach you so many things.i watched the last few episodes of the whole show and im like okay whoa.:).

example :
-if you get a new guy, call him smith.
-DO NOT WEAR SCRUNCHIES OUT.
-dont smoke near an open body-length window.
-manolos.need i say more?

style.its all about style.the world is all about style.man if you dont got it, you might as well die tomorrow or something.

2005-08-18T21:54:00.000-07:00

oh mann b syllabus is like damn freaking easy!!!why didnt i choose it on the first place???

okay so today was a normal dandy dandy day.okay fine maybe it wasnt.had these headache and giddy spells.it started when i just looked, just LOOKED at michelle chia.mann, anyway after chinese class, she gave me THE look.her usual disdainful and proud look at everyone.OH PLEASE.you act like everyone is beneath you.dude, you are beneath everyone.

okayy hmmm.i finally got jeny to admit that deep down inside, she hates michelle chia!!!!!!!hate is too strong a word?okay fine.dislike.tskk.jeny jeny.trying to act so neutral.stop keeping it in you and let out all the raw emotions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hehe and yea, me and jeny and cl are thinking of having this anime marathon after the o's.yea!!!cant believe it, we always like the same kind of comics.for example, love hotel!!hahahha.private joke.okay.lalla.i must study hard man.but all this is all talk no action crap!!!!!

ms michelle really sucks by the way.AHHHH HER HAIRR.i cant stand it.sometimes i feel my eyes rotting just looking at it.

2005-08-15T21:19:00.000-07:00

okay so i failed my chinese.kinda 'unexpected' huh?well whatever.taking b syllabus from now onwards.

okay so i found out whats wrong with me!i have stress.yea like LOADS of it.

anyways, feel like vomiting when i need that hair of hers.obviously, vogue and style do NOT exist in her vocab.oh wait, she has a vocab?seems like EVERYONE hates her.and her friend too.oops.i mean super cheap friend.btw no offense but i think 10 in the IGG is enough.no more,no less.hmm not really in a jokey mood nowadays.trying to be cynical, but its not working.oh my GOODNESSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AM I LOSING MY SARCASTIC AND FUNNY SIDE IN ME???????????????????????????????????????

GREAT.NOW IM REALLY REALLY CRAPPED.

teststests.argh.my blog isnt funny anymore.its becoming really boring.yupp.im going to grow up to be an old cranky woman.kapeesshhh.

and when is he going to email me??i have been waiting for FOREVER.;_;well at least he chose me over that...that....THAT.

ewww!CH sucks.and she thinks she so pretty.HAHAHAHAHHAHA.never heard a good joke before in my whole entire life.i mean after the whole i-wanna-go-jc joke.

2005-08-10T17:19:00.000-07:00

have absolutely no idea what exactly is wrong with me.

if you do, find out i mean, please please i beg of you, please tell me.

oh yea about the whole december thing, im over the moon!seriously.oh man.i could like buy anything.and to all those who think i dont have talent, TOO BAD!!
hahah.we'll see who's gonna rock this house down.

2005-08-03T18:02:00.000-07:00

News headlines: Miss Universe chooses brains over brawns

Press conference

reporter : Why be a scientist?

Michelle Chia : I have the ultimate potential to be one.Plus, I was the only one who came out tops in CCJC.

reporter : Clementi Central Junior College?

Michelle : Well, duh! who hasnt heard of it? it is the most difficult JC to get into. You need to have a score of 44. And I can tell you for sure, getting 44 was a piece of cake.

ew.talk about gross.having a headache now.probably shouldnt try to grow my hair out.im so sleepy.oral sucked.ms low was all comment-y and stuff.hey shut up.im the one taking the oral.you want to give me comments, give me positive comments.man, ive never ever had bad comments about my oral.shuts.headache getting worse.

btw jeny, hope you like the present!!!

oh yes, please do not call me on my cell.

2005-07-27T20:51:00.000-07:00

oh my goodness.today was a great day.yea.i mean GREAT.i mean, excluding the fact that those dimwits were there.oh yea so how do i start off?

today morning, i was real sleepy and couldnt wake up.but woo-hoo i thought about the japanese people and i just shot out from my bed.lala.took a bath.ate last night's leftover durian cake while opening the present from poni(awwww.a cutie bitsy soft toy dog) while reading the papers.and then woo-hoo surprise, tricia hands me two presents.i open them(awwww.its a dome shaped thingie and woo-hoo a word search book!)yea well.im pretty much of a nerd/geek.shoot me.so anyway,im off to school,in a good mood.and OH.in the bus i had to see a disgusting creature which made my eyes half-rotten.okay so nevermind.walked to school with jeny and freddy.we're all so excited about the japanese people.in class, janna gave me her present(a pair of beautiful earrings!!!i LOVE earrings) and then jeny handed me her present.(uhh.its kind of difficult to describe but i love it!!!!!!!!!!!)thanks to cai yun and xu dian and chew li and anita and all for the card!!!!!!yay!!comics galore, here i come!woo-hoo!okay so we're supposed to meet the japanese people now.(fast forward)oh look,they're waving to us from the back.naturally we wave back.a little too enthusiastically, i think.okay so they're super excited to see us.us tooo!!!!!!!okay yea well im a hypocrite.i talk big about meeting them,but when they come,im instant jelly.so anyways, jayne and erica were like 'oh that guy is handsome!!!' and i was like he's okay.and then i see this guy who reminds me of harry potter and he's really cute and im all 'heyhey.that one.yeayea.' and everyone's like errr.he's okay.and i keep on thinking man, what is his name?

okay so ive made many new friends.or so i think.i mean, considering me, a girl with absolutely no social life at all,yea, we would say you've made many friends.our booth was the jump rope thing.lol.it seemed like our booth was the most enjoyable one.i mean, people from other booths were coming towards ours.lol.it was way fun.and then there's this girl, she's hiromi kawamura.her birthday was today too!it was weird.then i got to know komiko.oh wait.or is it kumiko??okay well shes really hyper and cute.btw, during this point, im still pretty much obsessed with mr harry-potter and finding out his name.man, the suspension is KILLING me.okay so anyways, i(ME.ME.ME.NOT ANYONE ELSE) started liking him and oh miss im-not naked has to go like 'eee!i like that harry potter.'and i was like totally shocked.i mean hello?what the hell, i was the one who 'started' this nickname for him.and she's ABUSING it just by calling him by the nickname.she and her loser friend started gushing over him.i could hear squeals of 'harry potter!'ew.give me a BREAK.so anyways,im thinking like err.i thought everyone else was gushing over yukinori.so, GROSSS!!and anyway, im okay with shahbana already.so okay, i was with komiko(kumiko??) and im totally pointing at mr harry-potter and im like 'hey whats his name?' and she told me it was TA.i wont give out his name in case those losers come finding for him.ew.like vultures.man.okay so im like hes cute.and she giving me this 'uh-huhhhhhh' look. and im like 'okay he's not handsome but he's cute'.lol and she totally nodded her head.and im STILL(?!) obsessing over TA.and check this out, im secretly taking photos of him.lol!total potential as a stalker.and im SO embarrassed to go up to him.hes pretty reserved and quiet(AH-HAH!thats cos he hasnt met someone like me yet.)he's SO cute.anyways, it was so sad when they had to leave.the two losers were (SERIOUSLY) acting so sad.boo-hooooooooo.they looked like they were crying.and i was like 'huh?i thought they werent close to any of the japanese people and now they're suddenly like : oh,they're all my best friends) as chew li said, cry me a river.and they were trying to get close with kumiko.umm,what the heck? ew.they both SUCKKKKKKKKK.so i saw TA on the bus and im like noticing that he wasnt waving to anyone outside the bus.he probably doesnt really like our school people cos of (OH!) mr im-so-atheletic wouldnt let him play or win on basketball.i mean HELLO?cant anybody see that guy sitting alone.dude how would you feel if YOU were him?losers.typical.

anyways, back to the bus scene.i was waving to kumiko.the two dimwits were waving to kumiko too.probably cos kumiko was the only one who ever actually TALKED to them.anyways, i waved to kumiko and pointed to the front of the bus while mouthing TA's name.i did it for countless times until she finally got it.then she looked like she was going towards TA.embarrassed, i quickly looked away.jayne was crying.and i was like woah.okay, why am i not crying?so okay i turn back to the bus.and OH MY GOSH.TA was standing beside kumiko at the back of the bus.i must have blushed to a deep red.oh gosh and he was like looking at me.kumiko was pointing to me and she mustve told him something about me.and he looked and smiled at me and waved to me!!!!!!!!!!!!me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!oh gosh.i was the only one he was looking at and waving to!!shyly, i waved back and smiled.and oh after they left, i was like oh crap.i forgot his email addy.

okay well, there's a second chance.they're leaving on friday night.i want to go.but will dad allow me?oh God please i pray that a miracle will happen on that night.and i go to the canteen and tra-laaaa!a birthday cake.sponsered by the IGG girls.woo-hooo!!!thanks darlingsss.i loved the cake.i did.THANKS GUYS!!!i have no idea what to say.im just so touched.shuts.see?now im getting mushy.

lol.i was so fed up with the two dimwits also liking(i dont think they like him, they're doing it to spite me) TA.so okay chew li was telling me 'come on.you stand a better chance.he waved to YOU.not them.' and i was like hmm okay that's true.WHO WOULD like THEM after all????and all they know him is by calling him 'harry-potter' HAH.losers.

gotta go!!!btw,
TO MY IGG GIRLS :

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANKS FOR THE LOVELY CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY SWEET 16 TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE BIRTHDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TO THE LOSERS :

I GUESS LOSERS ARE ALWAYS LOSERS.

2005-07-12T18:43:00.000-07:00

right.
she wants out.what am i supposed to do?im pissed off.like what janna said to me just now,"in her eyes we are now considered as mean,evil people."oh sure.hmm.all because of THAT LUX AD CRAP.grr.why would anybody pity a backstabbing-coward-hypocrite-loser person??????tell me please,i think im getting a migraine from trying to configure it out.my feelings cannot be articulated.just thinking of the person makes me want to puke.

im so tired.everything is just slowly engulfing me.i can feel it.hmm still trying to work on the poem.

2005-07-11T22:52:00.000-07:00

finally.my internet is working.ive been slacking off nowadays.which is,pretty much no surprise since i goof off most of the time.ugh.the thing is,i know that i need to study but im too lazy!crap.oh great.

my idol..how can i ever articulate how i really feel about her??
lol.
oh gosh i am SO mean.
someone shoot me.

went to the cosfest yesterday with jeny and cl.and joy.oh how can i forget joy,huh jeny???????okay the thing was,jeny invited joy along.i didnt know joy then so i was like what?jeny didnt tell me??????????thankfully,joy was really quite a bundle of fun.oh yes!!!thanks cl for the birthday present!!!!!!!!!!!i love it.trust me.

oops.just talked to stace.want to study with her??????im not sure.my mouth can be abnormally large at times.let me think about it.

p/s - writing a poem tmr,stay tuned!!!!!!

2005-07-02T20:59:00.000-07:00

oh my goodness.luther vandross passed away.how sad.i didnt think that he would die at age 54.this probably shows how short life is.its kind of scary now, thinking about it.

my hair is driving me crazy.its giving me a headache.i dunno why.

i think cl is more meaner than me.lol.

AND
i still want to go to their concert

2005-07-01T20:56:00.000-07:00

I WANT TO GO TO THEIR CONCERT.
IF I DONT GO, I THINK IM GOING TO DIE.
if you're thinking im talking about good charlotte, you're totally wrong.in fact, i dont like them cos joel is dating the queen of freaking pop.
hint : 'dont look at me.."
yea.argh.i love them.how can anyone not love them?i love them.shuts.i need freaking cash
i want to scream.i want to die.

didnt go to school today.injured my foot.dont really know what happened.lol, like nicholas was asking me today 'how can you not know your own injury?' yea,well,shoot me.

sleep.i need some.

btw, yes, the japanese students are coming to my school on my birthday!!!!yay!!!!thank goodness my class is in charge of them.they-i mean,we are so privileged to have them with us.i had this real devious plan.i go and tell them that that day is my birthday, and all the presents meant for all the other people will be mine!!!!

oh,how devious can i get?

p/s- bite me

2005-06-30T17:04:00.000-07:00

Presenter : "Aaannddd..the winner for this year's competition for the most stupidest person is.."
ch : "Ohhhh!Please let me win lehh!"
presenter : "...is miss CH!!!"
ch : "i win!i win!ahhhhh!can go siao leh!!"
ch goes up to collect fake gold trophy.
ch : "eheh.thank you hor eberyone!!thanks to my palents for give birth to me,my fliens...umm..cant think of anyone.eheh thank you!!!"

4 days later..
front page of life! section in strait times : CH REPLACES MICHELLE CHIA FOR LUX HAIR AD

press conference :
r1(reporter 1) : "ch, how do you feel about the whole thing?"
ch : "i bely the happy leh!my hair bery nice hor?hor?"
r2 : "any tips on how to have a hairstyle like yours?"
ch : "hehehehheh!!!(vibrates vigorously)i rebond my hair lor,then cut short.then good lor!people can see my "white streaks".very bouncy my hair!"
r3 : "what brand of clips do you use?"
ch : "ehhh,what is that?"
r4 : "what are your plans for the future?"
ch : "eh well,i plan to go to this ehh clementi central jc.i want to sell tissues with mashi maro!!!!hmph,anyway,lucky i got future.some people dontch hab."
*silent crying in the background*
cl and ak : "forgive us please ch!we are sorry!we admit,our hair is not as beautiful and shiny like yours!oh if only we could turn back the hands of time!!!"

lol.i am so mean.right, any foreigners reading this, let me explain to you the "complex" english which is written up there.it is typical singaporean slang.yes.pity,i know.anyways tuesday is nearing and im so excited!i just hope that sis will be able to make it there in time.

p/s - i hate cosplay

2005-06-29T20:47:00.000-07:00

i am going to watch fantastic 4 on tuesday.im gonna watch it while all of you will be at home bored to death.no one's gonna take chris away from me.no sirreee.
shuts.i sound arrogant or something.okay,whatever!
so,long time no blog!just a few updates, the japanese students will be coming to our school on 27thjuly...which is...oh come on,dont tell me you dont know?oh alright,MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!as i tell everyone,them coming is like a birthday present from Japan, the country itself,which is,absolutely absurd.lol.anyway, the weather is crazy.i mean like real crazy.
obsessed with the foo fighters currently.no idea.
japan.how can anyone not fall in love with it?

ten reasons why you should fall in love with japan :
1)its beautiful
2)cute guys
3)great singers
4)trendy
5)hi-tech
6)cheap stuff
7)rare vans/nike/etc. shoes
8)cute sweets!
9)cute children
10)its japan!!!!!!!

finally i can use the internet.wanna know why i had to reformat it?ask my dearest sis.

p/s- 28 days, 3 hours, 13 minutes,41 seconds more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-06-25T12:30:00.000-07:00

great.school is starting.just great.oh yea, i won tickets to catch the fantastic 4.mann,i was trying for three days.thank goodness my efforts paid off.yeaa!!!and the best part is,im going to watch it before its being released in singapore.

ALLLRRRIIIGGHHHHTTT!

anyways,
didnt really have much interaction with normal humans for the past weeks.im kinda kept at home type of person.im having a little bit of a sore throat.and it really sucks.period.

2005-06-15T20:18:00.000-07:00

new blogskin,new stuff to write about.

firstly,the youth.i cant stand the fact that they always try to act so together when they're not.hello?do i have to point out the "outcasts"?and they do not make an effort to try to talk to them.for example,me.ive been ignored by them.and yet, THEY expect me to turn up for youth events?GIVE ME A BREAK.whatever.huh.some say i look unapproachable.well too bad fellas.im starting to hate them.seriously.and they totally encourage this??speechless.can you hear that?its called disgusted silence.

im a totally different person when im in school and at church.in school,im this totally psychotic girl who likes to be loud.i have friends everywhere.in church,im like this introvert.well hello?who wouldnt be when the bunch of youths dont even want to talk to you?

----------------------------------------

have to go out with jeny and cl on saturday cos i need to restock my comics shelf.jenyjeny.hey its weird.see,even though we three are so close,there isnt this inbalance between us.like jeny being closer to me than to cl.our friendship is totally in equillibrium.lol.

jayne!ugh i still have to go out with you!!fit you in my schedule and stuff.tell me when you're free.

oh and did i mention?
sweet valley rocks.

2005-06-04T18:07:00.000-07:00

suddenly its like BAM.here i am,thank you ma'am.ughhh.my life is seriously in need of dire help.for what its worth,maybe i'll give THAT up.having holidays now.doesnt really feel like a holiday.cos firstly,i have school for like,every day.secondly,my parents are home all the time.

i feel like im in jail.
seriously

2005-05-25T20:29:00.000-07:00

ugh i finally have time to blog.anyways, did pretty "well" for my mid-year papers.currently not in the mood to do anything.huh.and to think my chinese o'level paper is next monday.everything just sucks down here.

wish you were here.

2005-05-18T18:55:00.000-07:00

finally.exams are over.im so relieved.dont even recall studying for any papers.hmm okay.my obsession with comic books is taking over.feel like going swimming.

2005-05-11T19:44:00.000-07:00

have you ever seen a good-looking doctor?well,i have.its so weird.

sick.didnt go to school today.it was really gross.my tonsils were (ugh!) infected and there were (UGHHH!!)pus on them.plus i had fever.

i need to study
study study study

right.

2005-05-09T17:37:00.000-07:00

sometimes,i can get really embarrassed by my sister's immaturity.

had a really bad day today.oh and my sis had to make it worse by being selfish and throwing tantrums.

i dont know what to do anymore.im just stuck in a rut.
maybe nothing matters anymore.
nono
i cant think that way.
comeon amanda
its just a few more months.

Question:What do you think of your life?
Answer:what life?

2005-05-06T23:54:00.000-07:00

lol kinda think im gonna score pretty low for my essay.wrote loads of crap.

i saw number 29!!!!help!!!i need 28 before i can go on to 29.oh gosh.i think im gonna cry.

is it so difficult to be treated as a normal person?????

just watched time machine with my family.the show kinda makes me think.not many shows make me think.if i could go back to the past and undo something,wont that be great??and if i could be into the future,i could see what happens to the things around me.

cant wait till july.

what am i talking about?it isnt even after my exams yet.

i HAVE to start studying for my bio.

i dont think there's anything wrong with me nowadays.lol.okay,i think ive become somewhat more bitchy and mean to CH.okay wait.doesnt she deserve it?letting her taste her own bitter medicine, i mean.well,whatever!yea well.guess im gonna have to stick with that story.

cakecakecake.thats all everyone in class is talking about.

sore ga ai deshou?????

2005-05-05T18:19:00.000-07:00

oh my goodness.i think im going to die if i dont get number 28!!!!!!i HAVE to find out whether maria and ken get back again.

the chinese exam sucked.how could it not?ugh.i think i'll get d7 or something.

she's totally hung up on him.dude..

wow.im going to graduate in a few months time.wheee!!!i'll kiss childhood goodbye!!im not going to be stuck in this school anymore.

im supposed to be studying.my sis owes me 40 bucks.

great.

what will happen to us all?as in,my classmates and friends.i probably see jayne going to a jc and making new friends.jeny going to who-knows-where making new friends.me?going to an arts school and making new friends.

jeny!!!you have to keep your promise!!!
cy!!you too!!!

im so glad zk came out yesterday.it is SO touching.as i said a few million times before,im a hopeless romantic freak.thats good right?umm.

2005-05-03T22:18:00.000-07:00

today was great.played softball during pt.i could hear their chants but noooo.i felt like a breeze.napfa totally rocked today.sit and reach was awesome.i had 50cm.and everyone was like 'oh you're just lucky you have a shorter lower body part compared to your upper body part.'well hello?its not true.its based on your flexibility.isnt that SUPER obvious?otherwise why would they make the A mark above 49cm?gosh.anyways,after that,sit ups.whoa.it was great.i did 49 sit ups in one minute.what's wrong with me?i must be crazy.

why the heck is the man downstairs smoking again?
doesnt he knows its a hazard to both children and himself?he must be getting back at me for blasting my music so late in the night.whatever.

not really in the mood to yak away.i have a huge maths test tomorrow and a chinese paper to sit for on friday.

and yes,the sight of him just brought back old memories

2005-05-01T14:43:00.000-07:00

tired

found my yellowcard cd after 6-7 months.

2005-04-28T22:42:00.000-07:00

okay

its not like im petty or anything.im just super-sensitive,like what most people would categorize me under.when they both said my name about THAT,i was like what the heck.im not angry at them,more of disappointed.arent they supposed to know that im sensitive to like,almost everything?my face changed from a happy-go-lucky to a poker face.how do you want me to react?say "oh hahahah!thats funny." well,no.perhaps they have never been called THAT before,so thats why they think its funny?oh haha.good one there.you almost had me.i mean okay well im sorry if you have never gone through THAT, doesnt mean you can make fun of the person who has.

and whats with cy.i mean who likes a guy named sylvester(sounds like a nut who has like a million screws loose).i mean firstly,he looks like CRAP.major crap.secondly,he cant sing for donuts.thirdly,he thinks he's punk rock.righhht.and kurt cobain went classical at age 16.

whats wrong with the world?i have no idea.i need to get out of this place asap.and i mean immediately.otherwise i think im gonna blow my crap out of my ears.

2005-04-27T19:12:00.000-07:00

tired.wrote a stupid compo on temptation.wrote about a girl blah blah she wants to be popular blah blah steals stuff like cosmetics and marc jacobs.basically i was inspired by CH.yes,probably only 2 people know who CH is.

anyways,nothing much to share,just for the sake of updating.oh yesterday,WY told me the MOST weirdest thing ever.i mean okay, are you serious?well even if CH asked her to ask me,i hope she'll now know how immature she is.it kinda makes me sick.i mean seriously.who laughs and vibrates like a cellphone?and im sorry but lame jokes,are SO not the In thing.whatever!get a grip.

eye for a guy is screening tonight.heh yea right.like i'll have a chance to watch it.i have so much stuff to do.like revise for my chinese(though i dont see the point there),do my physics worksheet and revise for history chapter 6:REASONS FOR JAPAN'S DEFEAT.

oh will everyone stop it.hasnt Japan already paid for what it has done?the train crash hello?!

im not in a talkative mode nowadays,getting kinda cranky.and whats up with the weather?its getting hotter and hotter.next thing you know, you can get a pizza under the sun in one second flat.

i was kinda thinking about what anita said, about having no future in the arts line.well thats not what i think.i was just wondering, is that how most singaporeans view arts as?no future?well everyone is entitled to whatever they want to say.so if this is MY blog,i'll say whatever i want.i mean hey,isnt arts about creativity and being free-spirited(world peace)?i dont mind marrying in my early 30s because its my career that i want to focus on,not on my love life.(although i am a hopeless romantic freak)woahhhh.i sound so grown up.next thing you know, im talking about retirement.

and about that CH.how can she still have such an immature attitude when we are going to graduate in a few months time?she acts like she's still in pre-school,which i find,is really really nuts.well okay,im kinda used to it cos my school's full of nuts.well anyway,back to the point,whats the point in being immature?i think she's doing it cos she wants to be cute.but she cant fit into that category cos cute means being ugly but adorable.oh she fits one criteria but she is not adorable!!!!!!!!so you should know which category she totally fits into.i mean hello?you're going to face the corporate world and this is how you act?gross.like maggots on godiva truffles kind of gross

im going to eat now.stupid maid is calling me.gotta go.

catch you sometime

2005-04-22T15:29:00.000-07:00

where is everybody?im online but apparently,no one else is.this sucks.im sleepy.

think im going to sleep at 3.40pm.have to watch smallville tonight.

2005-04-20T19:57:00.000-07:00

oh but thou with thy heart
for what lest may be forgotten
for love,alas,forsaken
thou hast loved once
wilt thou see thee
and accept thy love for thee

okay i seriously have absolutely no idea what i just wrote.anyways,pretty fanatic over shan.mark.jason.urghhh!decisions!decisions!shan looks really weird in pictures.in a word,say, UN-goodlooking?!i wont say ugly cos he is definitely not.jason,if i were you i'd dump rosario.fast.

looking outside my window,i thought i saw a fleeting image of a hand from a cloud.okay,nevermind

school really sucked.ESPECIALLY today morning.i mean,its not like i hate CJ or anything but couldnt she be more discreet about it?when she said those words aloud,gosh,i was SO embarrassed.basically,cos im the one going around and telling about the SCcouple.GIVE ME A BREAK.i wish i didnt open my exceptionally humongous mouth in front of her.sheesh,maybe she still LOVES him,which is definitely no secret after what she said today.and what is up with CH?she is really starting to piss me off too.trying to talk to me,laugh at my jokes.well,hello.in case you've forgotten,I DONT TALK TO BACKSTABBERS.who does?isnt that basic knowledge,common sense?otherwise,maybe you dont have any at all.and what was up with the chinese teacher today?FINE i had a 28% on my chinese test.well luckily i had my book with me when she was totally lecturing us.

back from dinner.quote : "Depressed.Life is a black void of meaningless pain." reading this somehow invoked on what im doing currently,nightly : The Purpose Driven Life.i think i ought to be more bold in my religion, Christianity.hold up the light of the Lord.Thank you God, for bringing me into this world,giving me talents unlimited,virtually unknown to me.

it seems like im always angry every single day.its not that time of the month.that time of the month is already over.oh well.i think im still SUFFERING from puberty then.mood swings,hormones...SHANNNN!im nuts.people will start thinking im some crazy psycho stalker fan.oh if not i could always settle for MARRRKKKK!oh he is so HOT.obviously.he's a model.OH MY GOSH.am i actually surfing a website called Male Models???someone shoot me.

im going to talk alot.i feel like talking alot today.well hmm lets see.oh right!i was really upset when some other idiot took the book i had actually bid for online.and i WANTED IT SO DESPERATELY.whatever!you suck,by the way.anyways lets see.okay its about the casino thing.the government sucks.creating jobs are good,but are you going to cause the crime rate to shoot up like a rocket?im sorry Mr casinos-are-great,but i totally object to it.the chinese government suck.leave the japanese alone.i dont think the japanese people did anything.its only the chinese nationals who are reacting.i mean they want to boycott the japanese goods for GOODNESS SAKE.

what is love?something totally unpredictable.i hate love.

well guy-loves-girl kinda love.i need to buy the jacket otherwise im going to totally freak out.

i gotta go.watch eye for a guy 2 tonight at 10.20pm tonight and then the amazing race!

2005-04-15T16:31:00.000-07:00

nothing much really happens.at all.well in school there was a fight and that was that.im bored.english test on monday,social studies test on wednesday,history test on thursday and maths test on friday.thats my schedule for next week.oh wait.chinese oral exam on tuesday.ohoh i hope jayne is okay.she seemed pretty upset over the whole test thing.anyways,i dont know what is HER problem.i mean,not jayne obviously.THAT GIRL.urgh.she pisses me off.what in the world does she think she have the right to eavesdrop on other people's conversations?oh yea and treats herself like she was part of the conversation?i SO do not remember ever talking to her.i mean i find her so annoying i want to bash the brain out of her small head.oh well.

crap.i still have to handle the auctions thing for jeny and its just so exhausting being the middle-woman in this case.yea when i broke the news to her she was like 'shit.'and i was thinking riggghhhtt.this is the girl who doesnt curse.it was weird.for like one second i was like,is this jeny?

dannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

2005-04-13T20:54:00.000-07:00

why is it that i cannot find someone who actually watches the same shows as me??okay i watch shows like :
-csi
-the oc
-the apprentice
-the amazing race
-smallville
-what i like about you

why?can someone PLEASE tell me why.

anyways,im glad i slammed it on her face today.huh.see how she likes it.a bitter taste of her own medicine but the sweet taste of revenge served cold.i think im gonna study now.yup after i drink my green tea.

love youuuuu.
love and kissesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
to you-know-who(definitely not voldermort)

2005-04-13T19:27:00.000-07:00

well it happened.i think ive just got to face it.bored.surfing ebay.

2005-04-12T18:54:00.000-07:00

and for the last time :

will you people please stop keeping my books as your private personal collection?just in case you should know, money does NOT grow on freakin' trees.

2005-04-12T18:49:00.000-07:00

im so super tired.had pe today.ran like hell.hair all over the place,beads of sweat forming on my forehead.gosh.my legs hurt.yea and next week is the actual test.oh well.oh yea some good news.

my studying for history did not go to waste!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i thought i was going to get an average mark.i memorized and memorized all night long and i had 11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!im seriously over the moon.if i dont stop grinning,im going to end up like a cheshire cat.gooooooooooddddddddddddddnnnnnneeeeesssss.lol.im bored.im in love.im a romance nut.im in love with novels.lol.call me a nerd.

should i achieve to be like yukino?

2005-04-11T18:36:00.000-07:00

bored.was half asleep in chem class today.sighh.its weird.i did a "survey".asking many people if i look unapproachable.most of them said yes.hmms.oh well.school sucked.ive still yet to study for history.listening to lindsay now.

tell me that its over.

recently ive been a keane-addict.bought the m&m's star wars version.pretty cute i guess.i just wanted small change.should i play sims??

2005-04-07T00:22:00.000-07:00

okay so here's what i did today after school:
went with dianny and anita to ginza.anita treated us.ate finish.they went back to school while i went home.switched on comp.slept.woke up.used comp.ate.currently blogging.

my life is boring.lol i'll admit it.im a sucker for boredom.i can just focus on the thoughts in my head.i dont daydream a lot.i just reflect on stuff.

QUIZ

IN ONE TRY... TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR...FINGERS: amanda
CHIN:amk,jajnred
ONE FINGER WITH EYES CLOSED: amanda
CHEEK: qwakm,qwakjmredqw
ELBOW: amaaasnmda
LIPS: amanda
PALM: amandsa
BACK OF HAND: zmjanzsda
NOSE: qkjqhjerqw
TONGUE: amanda

-----------------DESCRIBE--------------- -----
YOUR HERITAGE: Singaporean/hainanese/indonesian(not sure abt my grandma)
THE SHOES YOU WORE TODAY: white nike shoes with the blue swoosh
YOUR EYES: dark brown
YOUR WEAKNESS: DRUGS! lol.ong
YOUR FEARS: being misunderstood
ONE THING YOU'D LIKE TO ACHIEVE: get out of this place.

-----------------WHAT IS--------------------
YOUR THOUGHTS FIRST WAKING UP: school is such a drag.
THE FIRST FEATURE YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX: Ass.--
THE FIRST FEATURE YOU NOTICE IN THE SAME SEX: Fashion
YOUR BEST PHYSICAL FEATURE: uh-huhh..
YOUR BEDTIME: when i feel sleepy.
YOUR GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT: my comic books
YOUR MOST MISSED MEMORY: my childhood

-----------------YOU PREFER--------------------
PEPSI OR COKE: Coke.
MCDONALD'S OR BURGER KING: burger king.
SINGLE OR GROUP DATES: single
ADIDAS OR NIKE: nike
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: chocolate
CAPPUCCINO OR COFFEE: cappuccinooooo

-----------------DO YOU--------------------
SMOKE: No.--
CUSS: sometimes
TAKE A SHOWER EVERYDAY: obviously
HAVE A CRUSH(ES): Yes.--
WHO ARE THEY: Who?--
DO YOU THINK YOU'VE BEEN IN LOVE?: yes
WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE: Yes.--
LIKE HIGH SCHOOL: no
WANT TO GET MARRIED: Yes.--
TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS: No.--
GET MOTION SICKNESS: sometimes
THINK YOU'RE ATTRACTIVE: i wont answer this
THINK YOU'RE A HEALTH FREAK: a bit of one
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: yes and no
LIKE THUNDERSTORMS: Yes.--
PLAY AN INSTRUMENT: Yes. three years ago i played alto saxophone

------------IN THE PAST MONTH DID:/:HAVE YOU----------------
DRANK ALCOHOL: No.--
SMOKE(D): No.--
DONE A DRUG: not sure.lol
HAVE SEX: i wish.lol
MADE OUT: No.--
GO ON A DATE: No.--
GO TO THE MALL: always
EATEN SUSHI: of course
BEEN ON STAGE: yes
BEEN DUMPED: nope
GONE SKATING: yes
MADE HOMEMADE COOKIES: no.cant cook.
BEEN IN LOVE: yes
DYED YOUR HAIR: nope
STOLEN ANYTHING: yes back when i was in primary school

-----------------HAVE YOU EVER--------------------
FLOWN ON A PLANE: yes.
MISSED SCHOOL BECAUSE IT WAS RAINING?: no.thats the worst excuse
TOLD A GUY/GIRL THAT YOU LIKED THEM?: yes
CRIED DURING A MOVIE?: yes
EVER THOUGHT AN ANIMATED CHARACTER WAS HOT?: yes.dont ask me how many
HAD AN IMAGINARY FRIEND: no.thats psycho
BEEN ON STAGE?: yes
CUT YOUR HAIR: Yes. who hasnt?
HAD CRUSH ON A TEACHER?: No. there arent any hot teachers
PLAYED A GAME THAT REQUIRED REMOVAL OF CLOTHING? no.
BEEN TRASHED OR EXTREMELY INTOXICATED: no
BEEN CAUGHT "DOING SOMETHING": define "doing something"
BEEN CALLED A TEASE: err.no
GOTTEN BEATEN UP?: yes.not severely
BEEN IN A FIGHT: no
SHOPLIFTED: yes

-----------------THE FUTURE--------------------
AGE YOU HOPE TO BE MARRIED: late 20's or early 30's
NUMBERS AND NAMES OF CHILDREN: two.seraphine and sphere
DESCIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING: parachuting
HOW DO YOU WANT TO DIE?: peacefully
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?: fashion designer/merchandiser
WHAT COUNTRY WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT?: japanjapanjapanjapan.

-----------------OPPOSITE/SAME SEX--------------------
BEST EYE COLOR: blue/green.--
BEST HAIR COLOR: dirty blond or brown
SHORT OR LONG HAIR: doesnt really matter as long as he looks good with it
BEST HEIGHT: obviously taller than me
BEST WEIGHT: righhttt
BEST FIRST DATE LOCATION: the movies
BEST FIRST KISS LOCATION: in a park under cherry blossoms.sue me.im a sucker for romance.

-----------------NUMBER OF-------------------
NUMBER OF BOYFRIENDS/GIRLFRIENDS YOU'VE HAD: 1
NUMBER OF KISSES YOU'VE GIVEN: none
NUMBER OF DRUGS TAKEN ILLEGALLY: a few million
NUMBER OF PEOPLE I COULD TRUST WITH MY LIFE: no idea
NUMBER OF PIERCINGS: two
NUMBER OF TATTOOS: none
NUMBER OF TIMES MY NAME HAS APPEARED IN THE NEWSPAPER?: none
NUMBER OF SCARS ON MY BODY: a few
NUMBER OF THINGS IN MY PAST THAT I REGRET: many

----------------FAVORITES--------------- -----
SHAMPOO: head and shoulders
FAV COLOR: black
DAY/NIGHT: night
SUMMER/WINTER: winter
LACE OR SATIN: satin.lace is too..lacey?
FAVE CARTOON CHARACTER: dont ask me.
FAVE FOOD: chocolates
FAVE MOVIES: howl's moving castle,spirited away,
FAVE SPORT: badminton

----------------RIGHT NOW--------------------
WEARING: nighties
DRINKING: water
THINKING ABOUT: when will i finish this
LISTENING TO: alicia keys-if i aint got you

---------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS--------------------
CRIED: maybe.when brian and greg got eliminated
WORN JEANS: no
MET SOMEONE NEW ONLINE: no
DONE LAUNDRY: no
DROVE A CAR: no.im not liable yet
TALKED ON THE PHONE: no

---------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN----------------
YOURSELF: yes
YOUR FRIENDS: yes
SANTA CLAUS: no.he was made to infiltrate the delicate brains of children
TOOTH FAIRY: no.money doesnt come from a fairy
DESTINY/FATE: yes
ANGELS: Yes.--
GHOSTS: Yes (I saw a few).--
UFO'S: no
GOD: yes

--------FRIENDS AND LIFE--------------------
DO YOU EVER WISH YOU HAD ANOTHER NAME?: Yes.--
DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND?: sometimes
DO YOU LIKE ANYONE?: Yes.--
WHICH ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ACTS THE MOST LIKE YOU?: none
WHO HAVE YOU KNOWN THE LONGEST OF YOUR FRIENDS?: rui ching
ARE YOU CLOSE TO ANY FAMILY MEMBER?: no.maybe my sis
WHO DO YOU HANG AROUND THE MOST?:jeny
WHEN HAVE YOU CRIED THE MOST: during howl's moving castle
WHAT'S THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD?: success
WORST FEELING?: guilt
WHAT TIME IS IT NOW?: 11.14pm
________________________________________ _____________________

+CURRENT+
CURRENT MOOD: bored
CURRENT MUSIC: mikuni shimokawa
CURRENT TASTE: water.saliva
CURRENT HAIR: Straight.short
CURRENT ANNOYANCE: father time
CURRENT SMELL: nothing
CURRENT THING I OUGHT TO BE DOING: Homework.
CURRENT WINDOWS OPEN: msn messenger,amazing race website
CURRENT DESKTOP PICTURE: tofuu oyako
CURRENT BOOK: nancy drew and nm5
CURRENT JOB: None.

+LAST+
LAST BOOK YOU READ: nm5
LAST MOVIE YOU SAW: howl's moving castle
LAST THING YOU HAD TO DRINK: water
LAST TIME YOU SHOWERED: just
LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE: no one

+DO I+HAVE I EVER+
HAVE A DREAM THAT KEEPS COMING BACK?: yes.countless times
REMEMBER YOUR FIRST LOVE?: yes
STILL LOVE HIM/HER: No.
READ THE NEWSPAPER?: yes
BELIEVE IT'S POSSIBLE TO REMAIN FAITHFUL FOREVER?: No.
CONSIDER YOURSELF TOLERANT OF OTHERS?: Yes.
CONSIDER LOVE A MISTAKE?: On Occasion.
LIKE THE TASTE OF ALCOHOL?: No.
HAVE A FAVORITE CANDY?: yes.mentos
DO WELL IN SCHOOL?: Somewhat
WEAR HATS?: No.
CLOSE FRIENDS?: a few
WISH ON STARS?: sometimes
LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?: yes
CARE ABOUT LOOKS?: On occasion.

+LOVE AND STUFF+
GAY? STRAIGHT? BI? NULL?: straight.
FIRST CRUSH: aaron carter.lol.
EVER BEEN IN A THING CALLED LOVE?: yes
DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?: No.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN "THE ONE?": yes

+ARE YOU A+
WUSS: Yes.
DRUGGY: No.
DAYDREAMER: Yes.
FREAK: Yes.
DORK: Yes.
BITCH/ASSHOLE: Yes.
BRAT: No.
SARCASTIC: Yes.
SHY: Yes.
TALKATIVE: Yes.
ADVENTUROUS: yes
JOKER: Yes.
FLIRTY: well..

im depressed.brian and greg got out.cant believe it.lala.im still awake.wide awake

2005-04-06T00:50:00.000-07:00

I watched the walls around me crumble
But it's not like I won't build them up again
So here's your last chance for redemption
So take it while it lasts, cause it will end
My tears are turning into time I've wasted
Trying to find a reason for goodbye
I can't live without you
Can't breathe without you
I'm dreamin' bout you
Honestly, tell me that it's over
Cause if the world is spinning and I'm still living
It won't be right if we're not in it together
Tell me that it's over
And I'll be the first to go
Don't want to be the last to know
I won't be the one to chase you
But at the same time
You're the heart that I call home
I'm always stuck with these emotions
And the more I try to feel, the less I'm whole
My tears are turning into time I've wasted
Trying to find a reason for goodbye
I can’t live without you
Can’t breathe without you
I’m dreamin' bout you
Honestly, tell me that it’s over
Cause if the world is spinning and I’m still living
It won't be right if were not in it together
Tell me that it's over
And I’ll be the first to go, yeah, I’ll be the first to go
Don’t want to be the last to know (over, over, over)
My tears are turning into time I’ve wasted
Trying to find a reason for goodbye
I can’t live without you
Can’t breathe without you
I’m dreamin' bout you
Honestly, tell me that it’s over
Cause if the world is spinning and I’m still living
It won't be right if were not in it together
Tell me that it's over
Tell me that it's over, over
Honestly tell me, honestly tell me
Don't tell me that it's over
Don't tell me that it's over

i still dont understand why people dont understand the plot for tk.its really simple.and many tk fans complained that the ending totally sucked.i dont see how it sucked.it was the best ending ive ever seen.keeps me guessing.im so sad im done watching it.sighh.
anyways bought nm5 today.its FINALLY out.it was great.nodoka rocks.watched csi hours ago.its great.i love csi.
i want so many things in this life.
but will i achieve them?
will i grasp the dreams,
like a thin feather that floats aimlessly

where will i be 10 years later?

2005-04-04T22:31:00.000-07:00

im very disappointed with the people in my class.

is being a christian just a fad?so people go around with bibles(EVERYWHERE they go),there's nothing wrong with that right?wrong.the actions these people are displaying is just an insult to christianity.im a pretty religious person.i wont say im totally superly religious because i do sin and still am sinning.oh sure, you might be thinking,'this person's a total christian freak.'well i wouldnt care the least bit because if you dont like it, you can always cancel this page.i just needed to type my thoughts out.all this whole christian fad thing is just killing me.these people pubicly 'proclaim' that they're like the holiest of the holies.whats the point if you're buddhist?for example,wee kiat.oh yea claim you read the bible?

give me a break.

2005-03-31T15:46:00.000-08:00

if its a joke,you are so dead.if its real,im gonna be depressed.

was checking up on new movies when,hola,here comes a movie called Year of the Yao.im dead serious."A documentary about 7' 6" Chinese basketball star Yao Ming and his first year playing in the NBA for the Houston Rockets."

no way.

anyways,im a true blue amazing race fan.i love the amazing race.and her comes psychiatrist amanda again.

how do you define love?
some people say love is eternal,everlasting.well,judging from singaporeans,i can tell that many teenage girls/guys rush into relationships.yea.what happened to friend-bestfriend-like-love??probably the main reason for this is because it great,to be pampered with affection.but what is love?parading around with arms linked?people rush into relationships because its just for the sake of love and being loved.one thing,you can never force someone to love you.cos thats just so wrong.and even if the person says yes,i like you too,two months later he/she has someone else,will you be upset?

people call me a gossip-monger.seriously.news just spread to me.im always at the "right" place at the "right" time.yupp

and i hate people who add me for the wrong reason.get a life.

2005-03-30T17:50:00.000-08:00

i havent updated in a while,as said by janna.anyways,school sucked.okay wait.it ALWAYS suck.bought AB yesterday.funny.my sis is crazy.she has celine dion on max on the stereo.sometimes i wont understand her.and stace is one dead dud.what do you mean by broke???you are dead i tell ya.heh.oh gosh just thought of something,

am i escaping reality by fully imersing myself in anime?im a true blue anime fan.no one can ever detest to that.im a very practical person.if i dont like you,i wont even care about you.hmm people describe me as a chocolate mint sweet.bitter on the outside,cool and sweet on the inside.if you still think im bitter,thats cos im not very close to you.yea,and that shows that i dont really like you.im also a very mean(bitchy?) person.yeaaaa cheryl and rc voted me as number one bitchiest person.lol.haha.im usually bitchy or mean if i dont like you.hahah.no one can compete with me lol.

mandaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

2005-03-28T18:13:00.000-08:00

im in a neutral mood today.though i was a little pissed at someone's childish attitude.chemistry sucked.if im going to have to do another titration again, i think i'll puke.listening to an angst song now.yes its interesting.when we are youths,we are full of angst.unnecessary emotional outbursts at anyone.but when we grow older,its something which we look back and laugh.thus,isnt it best if we make full use of our youth period to do more productive things rather than waste our time being immature,trying to be ms/mr popular.

yeaa okay people call me a nerd.oh haha.yea.i love to read.AND if you call someone a nerd who reads a lot of books,that just reflects on your own intellect.books are fun.it takes me away from reality.and i NEED to be away from reality.

hate.
just a four-letter word,
separating the truth from reality.
what can we say?
no one will listen to us.
we try to make a stand
speak out
but its just a passing phase
we wont be sure
the reason why
the reason why they ignore us
but we know we'll stand together

lol i just took a quiz."which naruto character are you?"i dont like naruto but it was fun.yea i got sasuke.it says 'You are Sasuke!antisocial/smart/serious/confident/logical/homocidal psycho who wants to kill his own brother.'
lol okay.

stace was here on friday night.my sis,stace and i decided to watch a movie next sunday.cant wait!stace is mad,as usual.i dont know whats wrong with her sometimes.lol.her skirt is getting shorter and shorter i just realised.heh.girlllll.

my sis is shouting in the house.i think she's psycho.she's a control-freak.she likes to be in charge.which is,heh,kind of absurd if you ask me.anyways laters.

2005-03-25T21:54:00.000-08:00

okay i really hate it when people talk about academic stuff to me.im sorry i come from a neighbourhood school but do you think im really that stupid?i know why you asked me that.fine is it cos im not good enough that you have to rub it in my face?well okay im sorry for that.i was kinda down today.hmm okay i heard about candice and her results(yea that girl on the front cover of strait times).i mean everyone was congratulating her and stuff like that.in front of me.i mean i feel like the people in my church are like perfectionists.i felt so inferior just standing beside candice.okay yea i dont hate her or anything but i hate the world.one more person talking about academic results to me,his/her ass is grass.

im in a mixed mood.sad,confused,angry,etc.

if you have a liable reason to talk to me,talk.anything other than that,please get lost.

2005-03-21T18:45:00.000-08:00

i love love KK.reading the chinese comic now.lol.yeaa.like as if i can read all the chinese words.anyways since i didnt update you since thursday, let me tell you how my weekend went.

friday-went to east coast park with my family.brought my physics tys and my comic book along.had a tan.hardly visible cos i hardly went out in the sun.lol.i was supposed to cycle but i didnt.you want to know why?cos i dont know how to cycle.right go on laugh all you want.

saturday and sunday-as usual.did homework.finally finished fma.ARGGHHH!!im seriously going to be depressed from the ending.

today-went back to school.everyone was hyper.okay scratch that.SUPER hyper.and whats with twk?he suddenly gave me a souvenir.a gs poster.I LOVE GS.heard that GIRL said some crap about me.i was like huh.im not even going around announcing im miss universe or something.i dont pull my skirt so high like YOU even if my thighs are fat.i dunno.everytime i see THAT GIRL's face i feel like slapping her.i think YOU know who YOU are.and also,i was suprised when sn told me what THAT PERSON(someone else, not HER) stood up for me.okay im feeling confused?happy?im not sure.UGH.

did i mention how much i hate my school?
yea okay
just so you should know
I HATE MY SCHOOL.

i want to study hard and get out of this bleeding school.

2005-03-17T17:07:00.000-08:00

watched KK again.oh yea woke up at 11 today.slept close to 12 hours.crapp.i need my dose of beauty sleep too.sighh.im finally done with my maths tys.now all im left with is physics,history,bio and eng.my sister is an idiot.im starting to realise,second by second.like okay she's holding up fma because she's talking to her friend.on messenger.there's a reason why God made man to create phones.or email,for that matter.righht.and now she's trying to possess me with britney spears.who in the world listens to Drive Me Crazy by britney???and the worse part,she sings along.i miss KK.im hoping to get the manga comic.but,that is if i understand the chinese.heh.im not even half done with the comic book i borrowed on tuesday.k i could bring it along with me tomoro.my parents are weird.okay scratch that.my whole family.why?what did i do to deserve this?ughhh.hey i just realised something.its so weird i think im opening up more to my blog rather than to other people.yea.thats good,right?
btw,one day i am going to create a casket for my sister.lol.
oh yea,it was nice talking to you today.lol i thought you had gone off somewhere and died.anyways,take care.:)

im so lazy im about to die.

2005-03-16T17:52:00.000-08:00

i guess i really have many rants on my blog huh?just finished watching mnh.sighh.its already halfway through the week and look,im not even half done with all my work.and i really liked the ending for mnh.it was so nice.i really expected her to go with the other guy.oh well.huh i guess love's like this.im not sure if i should just continue hating HER.we have to learn to forgive and forget right?im not sure if anything right has happened in my life so far.if only i had someone to share my burden with.lol but its wrong,i'll be selfish in that sense.haha.right.im stuck here all alone.im starting to think there's no one i can actually talk to.anyways,i think ive changed a lot in the past two years.im slowlySLOWLY becoming an otaku.i mean.umm me?lol.that'll be so weird cos its not really expected of me.when can i finally close my eyes and dream?dream sweet dreams that take me away from reality?oh yea.sis asked me if i thought MY and AC did the right thing by doing IT.i actually said yes.even though their still in high school and stuff.BUT if such great love were to be true in reality,of course its okay.as i said, there wont be such great love in reality.im starting to think.Jeffrey i think you're kinda right about me being pessimistic.the truth is,ive always been pessimistic.scared of all the obstacles in life.

2005-03-15T17:40:00.000-08:00

okay there was something seriously wrong with the comp during my previous entry.anyways, i never thought i would be affected by this anime.i dunno.i didnt realise it till just then when i thought it over.sighh.makes me feel like crying.lol.i notice that i tend to get over-emotional at times.haha.although i think it seems really ironic in reality.here,i become someone else.someone different.someone more verbal,more open.kk was and is a really good show.am i like her?like M.Y.??putting on a front?crap i have SO much homework i think im gonna die.everyone's gone.sighh its like a part of me gone missing.pfftt.nothing seems right in my life.sometimes i wonder,hey,its perfect.who am i kidding?there's a part of me that no one seems to see.

2005-03-13T23:13:00.000-08:00

2005-03-11T14:59:00.000-08:00

everything sucks.everyone's going away.im stuck here.

if i could just reach out and touch you,
hold you always

sighh.btw,
mrs wong IS SO dead.
she and her stupid son EARNEST
i mean which woman will name her son that?
its like calling my dog Prince William.
seriously.

2005-03-09T19:09:00.000-08:00

i wish everyone would stop being so shallow.i mean yea.im getting quite sick of it actually.

2005-03-08T20:30:00.000-08:00

okay WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH MY COMP?i typed in an entry and it didnt come out.wth.

anyways i think i crapped up on my chem test today.thank God tomorrow i'll not be having any tests cos tomorrow's test is on amaths and im glad i dropped it.

im sick of playing all your games.get a grip.

2005-03-07T21:25:00.000-08:00

i crapped up on my chem test.im going to crap up on tmr's chem test too.i just know it.i just do.dont ask me why.stupid man downstairs is smoking again.howl,im gonna get you.:)by hook or by crook.you are mine.heh.

2005-03-06T13:37:00.000-08:00

i watched howl's moving castle with jeny,dianny and jy.crap.call me overemotional or whatever.lol i may seem like the toughest among them, but lol i was the only one who cried.i cried at the ending.i was like okay crap stop crying.the credits started rolling and the lights were getting brighter.i was like what am i going to tell them!!???then jy was like whats wrong amanda?and then jeny and dianny overheard jy asking me so they got concerned and asked me what was going on.okay.the cat was out of the bag.i was all okay fine i cried.yea howl's moving castle is a very touching movie.soooo i bought the vcd!!!on yahoo auctions!i should really stop spending money nowadays.i need to save money!!urgh.no use.watching fma.dont disturb me.

it was all just a farce,a lie.

2005-03-05T23:26:00.000-08:00

okay.im bored.im fma crazy.i like tsl and ra.but i watch anime.listen to jap songs.loves design.

okay SOMEONE like THAT does NOT exist.
okay
guess what

that person is me.

fma song.
With you in my usual sight, I can breath
Even though that's already plenty enough to me
The petty me does nothing but repeat mistakes
How strong a strength do I need to have so that nothing will get hurt?
Without hesitation, I believe in this love and live on
I'll tightly embrace your unbandaged wound
And together we'll keep on walking, because we can't go back
Even now, the inerasable sin deep in my chest hurts, but-
Darling
I remember the painfulness of the love I lost back then
I'm a little perplexed by the vivid blueness of this sky
For example, even if I sacrificed something, I'd only believe in one thing
The color of the bloomed flowers in the instant when your straightforward eyes reflect
Even if I'm powerless, I'll live on strongly in this destiny
We'll join our hands and our warmths will melt together forever
If so, even if the sins of more things to come will be painful
For example, if as long as I'm with you, even if we just turn against the waves of the world...
Without hesitation, I believe in this love and live on
I'll tightly embrace your unbandaged wound
Without hesitation, I live in this destiny and live on
If I'm with you, surely we'll be connected forever
And together we'll only look forward, even if nothing came to be done
Nevertheless, I'll keep on protecting you with my hands by all means-
Darling

guess i was right all along.it was all just a farce,a lie.

2005-03-03T21:36:00.000-08:00

finally!fmp!f and fma have arrived!!!yay!!!im so happy!crap biology class sucked.i was dozing off.i hate THINGS THAT MAKE ME SICK LIKE HER!ive had enough of it.dont give me your pathetic lame excuses and stop lying to yourself.i'll remain calm.i will!gambatte!

pfft

who am i kidding?
sometimes i feel like a clown.wearing a smile all the time.hiding everything behind a mask.no one sees the tears behind the mask.ahh!thought of a song to describe how i feel now.

Look at me,
You may think you see who I really am
but you'll never know me
everyday, its as if i play a part
Now i see, if I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart
chorus:
Who is that girl I see,
Staring straight back at me.
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside.
verse 2:
I am now,
in a world where I have to hide my heart,
and what I believe in.
But somehow I will show the world,
whats inside my heart,
and be loved for who I am.
chorus:
Who is that girl I see,
staring straight back at me.
Why is my reflection someone I dont know,
must I pretend that i'm,
someone else for all time,
when will my reflection show who I am inside.
bridge:
There's a heart that must be free to fly,
That burns with the need to know the reason why.
verse3:
Why must we all conceal,
what we think,
how we feel.
Must there be a secret me i'm forced to hide.
I won't pretend that i'm,
someone else for all time.
When will my reflection show,
Who I am inside.
When will my reflection show,
Who I am inside.

i dont know the world anymore.

2005-03-02T19:21:00.000-08:00

i really think im gonna flunk my history test.i am.this is just so..crapped.i thought i studied.i dunno whats going on anymore.i really want to kill her right now.urghh.yes Mooney.life sucks.but what can we do?everything's just part and parcel of life.we just have to accept it.okay weird.i thought no one actually reads my blog, but hey, i was wrong.janna reads my blog.i was thinking 'making a blog is useless,i really should just stop'.okay stop

japanese lesson time!
its not alikato.its arigato.the 'r' is pronounced like a cross between 'r' and 'l'.most people seem to have that mixed up.which i find is terribly...umm..terrible.

i really miss you.
i dunno anything anymore.when will i talk to you again?will it be like last time?if so, i shouldve followed my heart in the first place and let you be.i cant take this anymore.

poem time!
when the leaves first fell
we promised eternity
i believed you
with every inch of my heart
but now its winter
winter in my heart
you're not here
to bring spring to my life
im waiting for you
to clear this cold winter in my heart
but
no matter how much i call for you
you never come
will i have to wait
forever?
when will your love melt the everlasting snow?

ah-hah!this was inspired by hatori from fruits basket.lalass.i need to confirm with jeny!!!that stupid girl, i am going to help her prepare her funeral.today the bus home was so crowded, i barely made it.i thought jeny was behind me,but oh,no.the bus doors closed and jeny was at the bus stop.and i,i was suffocating to death in the bus.

life is life
live or die.

2005-03-01T18:54:00.000-08:00

sometimes i really feel like ending it.just there and then.i hate this.i hate everything happening to me.cant you see me suffering here?burdened by all this?sigghhh.i cant take this anymore.absolute boyfriend, that anime,rocks.its funny and sad at the same time.unfortunately, i wished this really happened to me.oh well.bought 4 animes for 20 bucks.its a really really good deal.but i have to stop spending money!!!i need money for negi magi magister and fushigi yugi!! :( lets just face it.IM BROKE.

i really dont want to deal with this anymore.

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn’t be that man that I adored
You don’t seem to know, or seem to care what your heart is for
I don’t know him anymore

There's nothin' where he used to lie
Our conversation has run dry
That's what's goin' on
Nothing’s fineI'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn

So I guess the fortune teller's right
I should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
But you crawled beneath my veins and now I don't care, I have no luck
I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things
That I can't touch
I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changedInto something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already tornTorn...

There's nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's goin' on
Nothing's right I'm torn
I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changedInto something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am ashamed
Bound and broken on the floor
You're a little late
I'm already torn
Torn...

2005-02-28T18:39:00.000-08:00

changed my blogskin.although the tagboard's a bit...nevermind.ouchies.my stomach hurts.peter fesser is so funny.did i ever mention that?had dinner with him and the whole family.oh crap i feel like dying okay.i heard the lowest (the best) o level grade in my school was 6.i mean what..?urghhhhh.i am going to strangle the first person i meet.sleepy.rained today.rain rain rain.whats the point?its still so SUPER humid.i want to migrate to japan.yeaaa.

laters

2005-02-26T11:18:00.000-08:00

i cant believe blink 182 has disbanded.that is like i dunno,so wrong i guess.ive always been waiting for their next release and stuff.oh well.yesterday was the student investiture.i thought cy and i were supposed to stand at the end of the side gate.but oh no i thought wrong.we stood outside and we had to bring people in.we had to stand outside for like an hour plus.lol before that when we were wearing our ties, janna,cl,xd,cy and me kept taking pictures using our hps.lol it was so funny.i looked like an ultimate nerd.cy and i were outside talking talking and talking.it ended off pretty well.went home with jeny after that.IT has finally come!i was waiting for centuries.

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

signing off,
kaname chan/chise

2005-02-24T07:38:00.000-08:00

ive finally cut my hair.after months of dragging it on.i kinda think its too short.i dunno.thinking of changing my blogskin.again.lols.im getting tired of seeing it.one more ep for fmp!!!crap now i need fumoffu.and fma.student investiture tmr.i'll be helping out in the ushering.and i'll be standing with cy and wearing a tie!!i hate ties.haha.

tata!

kurz weber-sagara sousuke

2005-02-23T18:31:00.000-08:00

i was sick yesterday.still am.i think.i felt nauseous.gross it was so bad im not going to talk about it.yea.so actually yesterday i woke up at 7.30 to message jeny i wasnt going to school cos i was sick.okay so i waited for jeny's reply then i went back to sleep.umm slept till 10.12 when i called janna to ask how school was going.switched on my comp.used the internet,yahoo auctions etc.watched fmp and fy.slept at 2 or 3 something.woke up at 7 something.the whole day i felt like a cat.sleeping and sleeping.i was super energetic in class today though.had my hair in two ponytails.(this is not an act of "cuteness" as some people may call it but i had reasons on doing so ask me and i will tell you)i was practically bouncing around.i was so ready for the chinese spelling i was going to tear my hair out in anticipation.lol.i just wanted to get the day over and done with i guess.bought fy no. 7!!although pathetically speaking, i still have 11 more to go.i was thinking about cynthia's - oops i mean cy heh heh,cy's speech,on taking risks.i'll probably never find a way out.but i will.:)i will.

kikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikiki

:)love her sooooooooooooo much.

2005-02-19T18:06:00.000-08:00

why is it that whenever i need you you're not around?
why is it that whenever i dont need you you're always around?
why is it that i simply cant forget you?

crap.life is so weird sometimes.
strike that.
ALL THE TIME.

i was thinking i was going to get over you
98% completed.
and then suddenly
boom
you're back in my life.
i mean
how do u want me to react?
i dunno
but it should be okay right?
where are you now when im ready to talk to you?

tag me.

2005-02-18T18:46:00.000-08:00

if the world was flat, would u still love me?
if my heart wasnt there, would u still care for me?
if i cry, will u be there for me?
sometimes i wake up,thinking of you
are u doing the same?
maybe some day when i see you again,
the planets will align,
and we'll be lost in space.
together

i found this in my old blog. :)

i AM so poetic.NOT.lols

2005-02-18T18:10:00.000-08:00

im sooo tired.sis' friends were nice.i guess.maybe of them said we dont look alike.i was like 'really?' lalas.i should really continue my story.its trash.i know.i should sleep..zzz

waiting

2005-02-17T17:09:00.000-08:00

im so sick of it all.why are they angry with me?are they married to them or what?im thinking okay,im not talking trash behind her back.however, this is happening to me, which is kinda ironic if you think.im not going to be depressed right?i dunno.crap.yep,i feel like crap.its kinda weird cos i think its God's will,somehow.i dunno how im going to get through it.i can see the headlines : Girl Found Dead In Her Room.
friends : "boo-hoooo im so sad she's dead..she was my best friend."

yea right.friends my ass.many are wishing me dead.hmmm..i wonder..

2005-02-16T20:42:00.000-08:00

people say im senile.i think i am.lols.okay nevermind.my brain hurts.lalala.it'll probably never be the same.lol.oh well